Spring

Lifeforce hums through the garden like blood in capillaries… singing.

Hummingbirds winging… winging. Beating… thrumming… humming.

“Grow… grow.  Create anew.  Grow… grow”

Coursing through the season time, like water, flows.

Children grow roots, stems, bud out to bloom.

They stretch to stand, they mature… and will go on to create seed.

Same as flowers. Same as trees. Same as all life.

Each leaf, each bud, each child is tuned to the throb of the force.

We swim submerged in life… in the air we breathe.

                  Weighs nothing, yet holds all the earth in its embrace       

        raven  3-2001

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Tongue-tie

Over the last few years, there has been an increase in this diagnosis, which can make it very difficult for baby to breastfeed. I have met heroic parents who have struggled to nourish their baby as they waited to have this condition confirmed. It can be very challenging. But surgery is a serious choice and does not come risk-free. If there is a question of your baby having “oral ties”, I know you will want to do some research. Here are two sources to get you started.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17931-tongue-tie-ankyloglossia

Child Abuse Prevention Month

Let’s go a bit further and declare this Celebrate Children Every Month. In my perfect world, the waters would part for the Little Ones. How about:

• Letting that Mom and baby move to the front of the line
• Really slowing down through school zones and side streets where kids are playing
• Watch out for bikes, especially this early in the season
• Waving back at the child waving to you from the car window
• Offering to help the parent trying to shop with a melting down toddler
• Bringing dinner or a treat to a family with a new baby and/or new to your neighborhood
• Offering to baby sit for friends
• Organizing a regular play date at the park

Power Point

Hanging out with a one-year-old just a couple days ago, I was impressed with the power of his pointing finger. Pointing left, right and center, it had the adults around him naming objects and colors. His little pointer compelled us to keep the stroller moving when we had paused. That tiny gesture from the littlest in the crowd had all scrambling to please him. The imperial pointer!

I kept thinking about it. Seems like a rather sophisticated coordination of fine motor movement coupled with an awareness of the both near and distant environment and used to convey curiosity as well as command a desire. Turns out, this finger communication is reliably predictive of good language ability. Children at this age who used a finger to point, rather than an open hand, generally had better language skills a year later.

He may be holding court from Daddy’s arms or his stroller chariot, but this little prince was surely ruling his kingdom….and showing promise of strong verbal skills in his future!

Lüke, C., Grimminger, A., Rohlfing, K. J., Liszkowski, U., & Ritterfeld, U. (2017). In Infants’ Hands: Identification of Preverbal Infants at Risk for Primary Language Delay. Child Development, 88(2), 484-492.

New Law in Colorado

When big people threaten to hit big people, it’s called assault and if they actually do it, it’s called battery. Both are against the law.

Change the size of the person getting hit and the law changes. When big people hit little people, it’s called corporal punishment. Why society sanctions adults hurting children has never made sense to me.

This past year, Colorado introduced HB23-1191 to limit by whom and where children can be “punished”. It passed.

Here is the official summary of the law:

BILL SUMMARY

The act prohibits a person employed by or volunteering in a public school, a state-licensed child care center, a family child care home, or a specialized group facility from imposing corporal punishment on a child. The act defines “corporal punishment” as the willful infliction of, or willfully causing the infliction of, physical pain on a child.

APPROVED by Governor April 20, 2023

EFFECTIVE April 20, 2023
(Note: This summary applies to this bill as enacted.)

Here we are in the 21st century. We take a tiny step forward to protect our little ones.

Screen time: the good, the bad and the ugly

Investigating the original literature that informed a recent American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendation regarding screen time for infants and children opened a Pandora’s box of studies from multiple countries looking at cognitive, motor, executive function, gender, emotional effects, behavioral changes and more. Earlier, before all this research, it was felt that the downside of screen time for young children was that it simply displaced time that the child would be using to engage with the world, exploring and relating. It did not seem that the screen experience itself was harmful but that it took away from activities that would promote normal development.

Not any more. These studies indicate otherwise. Although researchers have not pinpointed the exact mechanisms by which children’s brains are altered, screen time itself, is associated with some worrisome effects. There have been studies in older children that have shown that screens can be helpful tools in education and we certainly see them everywhere in schools now. But even in these school-age children, caution should be taken as we implement this modality so universally, with minimal information on its short and long-term effects.

Focusing on the young child, it seems very clear that exposure to screens can be deleterious to development. Each hour of television viewed by two-year-olds resulted in a 6% unit decrease in fourth grade math performance. Two hours or more of daily screen time resulted in behavioral problems and poorer vocabulary. Between 6 and 18 months, it led to emotional reactivity and aggression. This is just a sampling of the many studies found at the National Institute of Health’s website: ncbi.nim.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC103539471.

The AAP recommends zero screen time for babies 18 to 24 months old, with the exception of video chatting. (So important for keeping connection with family who live far away.) Children who had had daily screen time were more likely to struggle with language and problem solving skills. Those with more than four hours of daily exposure were almost five times as likely to have communication delays.

Babies learn language through interactions with adults. The key component of those interactions seems to be reciprocity in the conversation. Hold baby in your lap, facing each other. Making sensitive eye contact, mimic baby’s sounds and facial expressions. Give her time to respond. Often, when we learn that babies enjoy us, need faces and interaction to thrive, we might be tempted to keep a constant monologue going. This can easily overwhelm a baby and result in baby shutting down. Watch her closely for cues of needing a break in this compelling play.

OK, bring on peek-a-boo, pat-a-cake, eensy weensy spider and where is Thumbkin!! 

For the Love of Men by Liz Plank

Just finished checking out this 2019 book. I share the author’s concern for men. I agree that men have had very limited models of how to be in the world. A variety of current cultural influences have left many men uncertain about their roles.
I only want to comment on two things. First, she mentions a study comparing young men’s responses, supposed to evaluate their level of support for a working wife. She reports that more men in 2014 than the men in 2010 “believe that a woman working outside the home harms preschool children”. Her interpretation of this finding is that men were reverting back into the “male provider/female caretaker model” and less supportive of their working wives. However, I wonder if further investigation is warranted. Perhaps there is another reason or explanation for this finding. The language posed in these questions leaves little room for nuance. Could it be that these fathers believe that a child benefits from having a parent at home? Be it father or mother? This is a very intriguing area of study and I hope to learn more from future studies.
Second, I just have to mention, that she also has a short section on the “gender life expectancy gap” which is something that has long been identified. But from my experience as a NICU nurse (and I believe recent data bears this out), the chance of survival for preterm babies is about equal between girls and boys, given the advances of sophisticated medical interventions. An observation I hope will give parents of boys a bit of equilibrium. In fact, I just read of a 22 week gestation infant, weighing less than a pound, that was going home from a Colorado hospital and yes, it was boy.

Colorado survey for families

The Colorado Department of Early Childhood is conducting a survey of family needs. Any household with children less than six years old is invited to fill out the survey to better inform the state of the current status of young families. Your feedback will direct state services to provide support that is tailored to what parents are experiencing today. If you are interested or know anyone who might be, here is the link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AzlIBwo__agnnVQfCR5j1NWAhB-PRJ_MJfMeQFw7t0I/edit

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

The second trimester

As the threat of a miscarriage passes, a mother feels more confident in her pregnancy. These months are generally calm and comfortable, with less nausea and the affirming swell of her body. The highlight of the second trimester is the moment of first sensing baby’s movement, “quickening”. It is recognized at about 20 weeks for the first time mother but may be felt a little earlier with subsequent pregnancies. For many, this is a pivotal moment of connection with their baby and another level of proof that the pregnancy is real.

Concurrent with this heightened awareness of her child, she tends to turn inward. Sometimes misunderstood as being overly sensitive, this introversion is a phase that allows mother to adjust to the changes in her body and her life. It is a focus on herself that helps to generate energy for the strength needed to safely carry this baby through the next months and to prepare for labor, birth, and plan for all the changes involved with the coming of a new little one. During this time of contemplation, she may become tearful without apparent cause and also experience deep joy. A myriad of emotions comes into play, partly fueled by hormonal changes.

A sensitive partner will recognize that this is a normal process and respond with increased tenderness and care as they both integrate the challenges of this extraordinary time.

A positive pregnancy test

The pregnant mother experiences predictable psychological and emotional stages during a typical gestation of 9 months. In the very beginning, with a positive pregnancy test, a cascade of changes begins. Even if very longed-for, there will be stress and anxiety with the confirmation of pregnancy. This is a crisis for a couple which will require many adaptations. The woman must now think of herself as a mother and prepare for that role in addition to maintaining her other roles, including being a mate if she has a long term partner. Her partner must now view him/herself as a parent and for both, career goals may be altered or even thwarted. And each begins to view the other as a parent now.

Decisions about finances need to be made and choices about employment need to be discussed and worked out together. When these discussions can occur openly and when needs are identified honestly, the resolution of agreeing on a plan allows for the couple to move forward unencumbered.

Although labor and birth are months in the future, fears about the process and outcome also may arise. Choosing a health care provider that is supportive and willing to discuss the questions that the mother and partner each have is essential for a healthy and positive experience. A lot of research may be necessary to engage a provider that results in a good fit for each couple.

Coming next, what changes occur in the next stage?