Bed time routines can be a stressful time of day for both parents and children. No one wants the day to end with crying or tantrums. With some planning and effort, you might find a way to make it happen more smoothly. To begin, especially if meltdown is an established scenario, you might first need to break the routine, change the cues of that established response. A change of scene, as happens when you’ve been traveling, staying at a hotel or another home might be the perfect opportunity or you could change it up by having another person do the pajama and teeth brushing duties for a week or so.
Then you may all be more open to something different.
You might want to set the stage by dimming the lights, choosing soothing music or no sound, speaking softly and moving slowly, without rushing. Some parents have had success with preparing themselves first, with calming techniques such as deep, slow breathing. Then, if your children are old enough, invite them to practice this with you and ask for their help making the end of the day together more calm. If your littles are too young for that, they might like to pretend to be kittens, stretching and purring and cuddling together. Follow with a bit of reading and you’ve taught your children skills that will serve them throughout their lives: how to transition from an active day to a quiet evening; how to calm oneself; how to be respectful of each other; how to recognize their feelings and gain some mastery over one’s challenging emotions.
This, of course, will be different for everyone but you get the idea. You can find a way. After all, your relationship is formed in these daily moments of giving care, of taking care. I hope that soon, maybe even tonight, bedtime will be the start of sweet dreams.
21Moons 