Quiet

I just read “Quiet” by Susan Cain. Intended to support introverts, it is a good read for parents, especially parents of a quiet child. Ms. Cain uses the cultural definition of introversion and explores the many benefits of this temperament/personality. I was pleased to read her parenting advice focused on understanding your child’s behavioral cues and supporting your child’s unique attributes. She quotes copious psychological literature and frequently refers to a study which identified “high-reactive” babies at 4 months old. These infants responded to new stimuli (I would venture to describe it as over stimulation) with crying and cycling of arms and legs. These individuals continued to be sensitive to their environments right into adolescence and it is suggested that this tendency is a life long trait. It is important for a parent to recognize tolerance levels of their infants and children so that one avoids repeatedly putting  the child into situations that s/he cannot cope with. My favorite quote (attributed to Belsky), describes the type of parent a high -reactive child would prefer, advice that is excellent for all parents: “someone who can read your cues and respect your individuality; is warm and firm in placing demands on you without being harsh or hostile; promotes curiosity, academic achievement, delayed gratification, and self-control; and is not harsh, neglectful, or inconsistent.”